Why Expectations Make Us Miserable

An expectation is strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

Most times it is what we want to happen.

We have expectations that we will succeed or that things will be painless. We have expectations that our spouse will be our “night in shining armor”.  We have expectations that our family or co-workers will treat us with respect. And most importantly, we have expectations that the things that we think will make us happy WILL MAKE US HAPPY.

What we want to happen, however, rarely happens (at least not exactly as how we imagine it).

As Mike Tyson used to say:

Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.

Translation: There is just too many variables and too much chaos for us to rely on our predictions (or expectations) for the future.

Because of these variables, reality never matches our head and our “plans“.

And the more we play in our head, the more we fail to see what is right in front of us ( and the more disconnected we become from reality).

Often, what is next, is to become angered that they aren’t matching up together.

Your body. Your financial situation. Your loved ones. Your mind. Your ___.

We place expectations on them all, but do they ever end up the way we want?

And if they do, do they live up to the hype? That is, do they make you as happy as you thought they would?

 

AN ALTERNATIVE

The Method: Hope for the best, plan for the worst.

We can go into a new relationship hoping that is going to be awesome. It wouldn’t be fun if weren’t allowed to think that way. We have to, however, prepare ourselves.

==> Life is Dramatic (and shit happens).

If we are caught off guard and thinking (or expecting) tulips and roses, this bad stuff can really throw us off track. If left unchecked, it can destroy us and leave us thinking, “Why me?”

To prevent this, give some thought on how bad (or worse) it could get.

So….  your diet? Probably gonna suck at sometime. And you are going to get hurt exercising. And a loved one is going to do something that offends you (but it is only your expectation they are offending, not you).

Don’t expect happiness and good things to happen. It will only take you further away.

Instead (if anything), expect Life. Expect that you will get the full gamut – the good with the bad.

With this, you may just close the gap between “what should be” and “what is“.

And with that, well, you’ll be where you want to be.